What Will We Be and For Whom?

Tuesday April 10, 6:00pm
"A People So Bold" Class

What are we here for? I can always put together an answer to what I'm here for. A number of my sermons touch on one aspect or another of what I love about Unitarian Universalism, or how the work of our congregations seems to me to represent the best hope for human flourishing. I can tell you what I'm here for. But I don't know what we're here for. That is, what shared understanding of purpose motivates us to continue attending, supporting, and doing the work of UUFG? What are we here for?

Here's our current official mission statement:

Honor the inherent worth and dignity of all people of the world in which we live
Respect and encourage the many different approaches to spiritual fulfillment
Support each other in life's passages and struggles
Work compassionately for peace, liberty and justice
Celebrate our connection to the sacredness of life and protect life's sustaining systems.

And here's our vision statement:

To be a diverse religious community committed to lifelong compassionate service to each other, our community, and the earth.

There's something crucial that neither of these statements accomplish. They do not indicate to each individual -- our long-time members and our first time visitors -- what we expect of them. The statements assert that the congregation as a whole aims in certain directions -- but they don't impart the individual responsibility to make it happen.

Contrast this with a couple other mission statements from UU congregations:

UU Church of Columbus, Ohio:

"We are here to: Learn and practice true hospitality,
Revere the reasoning mind and the generous heart,
Claim our diversity as a source of our strength, and
Relinquish the safety of our unexamined privilege for the freedom to engage in transforming justice."

First Unitarian Church of Rochester, NY:

“Healing spiritual disconnection by helping each other
Listen to our deepest selves,
Open to life’s gifts, and
Serve needs greater than our own.”

One feature of these mission statements is brevity. These are shorter than ours. The Columbus mission is only marginally shorter -- it’s 41 words compared to the 54 words of UUFG’s mission. The Rochester mission is 23 words. We should probably look for something that’s 25 words or less.

Besides overall brevity, an extremely short and easily remembered mnemonic version is tremendously valuable. At Rochester, their “short form” mission is: “Listen. Open. Serve.” Anyone can remember just three words. And these three words help people remember at least the gist of the 23-word version. Listen. Listen to what? Almost everyone will be able to come up with something very close to “listen to our deepest selves.” Open to what? Almost everyone can reconstruct something similar to “open to life’s gifts.” Serve what? It’s easy to remember that what the mission says is something like “serve needs greater than our own.”

Listen, open, serve.

Cool.

At Columbus, the “short form” takes a bit more work – and the key concepts don’t come across as verbs: Hospitality, Reason, Generosity, Diversity, Transforming Justice.

Even more crucial than brevity and memorability – as important as those are if we are to have a mission statement that truly expresses a shared understanding that guides what we do -- is that the mission identifies what each individual – not the nebulous “congregation as a whole” – commits to.

To think about mission in this way means getting out of the mindset of thinking about what we want to “get out” of UUFG. That’s a consumerist mindset. It’s not about what you get. It’s about what you are here to do, it’s about what we commit to in being a part of UUFG, it's about the person we seek to become. If we’re clear on our commitment, the rewards will take care of themselves. But if all we’re thinking about is what rewards we want or expect, then we won’t have either commitment or rewards.

Here's the video of the first part of a workshop that changed my thinking about mission. Give it a look. You won't be able to make out the powerpoint point slides in the video -- you can view those slides in a separate PDF here:
http://www.sld.uua.org/pdfs/2011/GA_pathways.pdf



The question, then, is what do UUFG members commit to? Last fall I asked a number of our members. At first, my question was: "What do you want your UUFG experience to help you work on?" I wanted to know what kind of work -- inner and outer -- we're ready to commit to. Later, I switched to this wording::

I truly believe that none of us are broken, and we don't need fixing. As I often say, you (and we) are perfect just the way you (and we) are. Realizing that perfection is not static, that your perfect being in the world includes the ways that you continue to unfold in it -- and that bringing intentionality to that unfolding is often helpful -- let me ask: in what ways do you hope to develop, deepen, grow, and learn through your membership in UUFG?
The reason we're asking is that your answers will help us decide what programs and policies -- and sermons, classes, and workshops -- can best help our perfect people unfold in the ways that they most want to. If three or four answers emerge around which we have broad consensus, then it can become UUFG's mission to be a place where we help each other develop, deepen, grow, and learn in those specified ways.

Here’s a sampling of the answers I’ve gotten. You’ll notice that a number of respondents had a difficult time shedding the “what’s in it for me?” mindset. They talked about what they wanted to get out of, or from, UUFG rather than what transformative work they were prepared to engage. Nevertheless, many spoke touchingly of the commitments they long to bring to a community that will share those commitments.

“I want my UUFG experience, my UU experience, to help me understand God.”

“Spiritual development. Relationship-building and feeling in community. Stronger connectedness within the membership.”

“I would like the opportunity to discuss and process interactions with the Other in the context of my life in the UUFG community. The Other encompasses everyone and everything from Dove outreach to homeless guests to fellow UUs with whom I disagree on something basic. In other words, anyone or anything that pushes me outside my comfort zone. . . . UUs in general (including myself) are less tolerant/open minded than we assume ourselves to be.”

“There is nothing that I want UUFG to help me ‘work on.’ I am there for the friendships only. UUFG is my club of likeminded friends.”

“Let what comes at me soak in. UUFG can help me have: More doing (less just thinking about it) -- an outward orientation. UUFG can help me be a better parent for [my son].”

“I want to give my skills in ways that will help the Fellowship and the community. I want to receive inspiration or motivation to be of service (including to the wider world). I also want to receive the comfort of being in a community, and some intellectual stimulation from sermons.”

“I'm beginning to feel a bit like a magnet that attracts tasks to be done, in part because I have a hard time saying no because of my strong family-like feelings for UUFG. Just now I could deepen my religious explorations with more balance in my life. I need to be able to disentangle myself from my tasks and do other activities for a while.”

“I want my UUFG time to be one of reflection. I want it to be a sanctuary where I can listen to new ideas, new philosophies. I want my vision of the world to be gently challenged or affirmed. Dealing w/ teen angst every day is tiring and I find that I have little time to think deeply. So what I want is a place to hear ideas and use the time to simply think.” [Note: I sought to re-direct this respondent away from the consumer’s orientation – away from what they want to get and toward what they want to be. I replied: “From what you say, maybe you'd like to become a more reflective and deep-thinking person, aware of more different ideas, and strengthened/deepened in your understanding of some of your present ideas. Is that right about the person you hope to become through your UUFG membership?” The respondent replied: “Exacly!”]

“I would like to be more of an environmentalist, involved in: clean-up projects and protecting our water supply and air quality. . . . I feel I have grown spiritually. If I want to grow more, I can get more involved and I can read more insightful books.”

“I see myself changing through my experience at UUFG by deepening my personal spiritual connection to Self, our UUFG community, and the wider community. Through these deepening spiritual connections, I hope to grow and learn with our congregation how to be a truly loving, diverse, community. I hope to feel this love emanating through and from our congregation into the wider community.”

“I hope by deepening my spiritual connections I can develop or learn a better approach to dealing with my personal feelings about the conflicts that occur within our congregation. I hope to see myself and others learning to show more love and trust.”

“Discomfort is exactly what I need from the Fellowship and my experience as a Unitarian. Sure, I'm enjoying and appreciating the community - the friendships, camaraderie, & the spiritual exploration. But mostly it's the personal challenges of being a Unitarian that I need and loathe the most. I'm not sure there's been a single month since I joined that being a member hasn't made me deeply uncomfortable at some level. Whether it was trying to coordinate a team on a tight schedule, sing halfway decently, find a way to step back from judgmentalism and embrace other members who've deeply pissed me off for their public behavior around difficult budget issues, or overcoming my outright dread of public speaking in front of the Fellowship - it's all been hugely useful in growing personally. I'm deeply grateful.”

“I think learning and building the habit of reflecting is one of the ways I would like to grow. Another way I would like to grow is in really deep acceptance and appreciation of others, especially those I see as different from me. It is difficult for me to understand some things people do and I tend to focus on interacting with those people I do understand and who seem to have similar values. There are so many of those people and these interactions are usually so positive and productive that that works pretty well. However, I know there are others that I'm missing the chance to learn and grow from. I would not be interested in trying to make myself interact equally with everyone; there are some differences that just are that way and will stay that way. I would like to learn to make that decision more meaningfully.”

“1) I would like to discover my gift. 2) I would like to select ONE community project or issue that is very meaningful to me, and join with (many) other UU's to enhance UUFG's profile in the community. 3) I would like a support group for my spiritual practice. 4) I would like friends. 5) I would like to promote (and advertise) UUism 6) I need someone to direct my education about UUism.”

So gather on Tuesday to talk about what we're here for -- what we commit to and what work, growth, learning, developing, and deepening we expect to do in and through UUFG.

We'll also talk about Kat Liu's chapter in A People So Bold" -- pp. 51 - 55. Kat, too, is asking, "What Will We Be and For Whom?"

Kat Liu mentions what a turn-off she found it to be when people said that Unitarian Universalism is a religion "where you can believe anything you want." Do people at UUFG say -- or think -- that UU is about believing "anything you want?" How able are most of our members to articulate why we aren't a religion where "you can believe anything you want"?

It is crucial for the future of liberal religion that we balance individual autonomy and communal accountability. Is UUFG balanced? Or do we lean a bit toward one end or the other?

A few UUFG members mentioned connecting with the other -- getting outside our cultural comfort zone. Kat Liu specifically urges us to open up to greater multicultural and multiethnic diversity. She concludes:

If we want to be a religion of the race and class privileged, then we need not change, and we can watch society pass us by. If it is our desire to be prophetic leaders in building a multiethnic, multicultural community, we must step outside our culture-bound viewpoints, recognize that other equally valid viewpoints exist, and intentionally work to see through the eyes of others. Those among us who live on various margins have already had to learn to do this. May we lead, not lag. May we reclaim the voice of our prophetic faith.

What do you make of this?